19 June 2008

"I love you!" Love In Islam

"I Love You!"

It’s a sentence most of us have probably used at one time or another, though we probably don’t want elaborate on the context we’ve used it in.

But hey, what’s wrong with love?

Love is one of the central human emotions. We all experience love for someone or something, to varying degrees, at one time or another. Most of the time, when we think of love, it brings a warm, fuzzy, and sometimes naughty feeling – the type that makes us feel that nothing in the world matters, with the exception of our beloved.

We are often hushed up and reluctant to discuss love with anyone, except for maybe our close friends. But if we think about it, love isn’t something bad. In fact, it too is a blessing of Allah. Think: if there was no love in the world, every single person would fight everyone else. There would be no peace and happiness. The world would be a terrible place without love.

One of the strongest (if not the strongest) bonds of love are between family members. Thus, Allah has made all believers brothers (and sisters). That’s why we should try to love all Muslims as our brothers and sisters.

Allah (SW) has said:
"The believers are nothing else than brothers (in Islâmic religion)." (Quran, 49:10)

Love is natural. It enters the heart and leaves at will, and we don’t have much control over it. While we don’t have control over love, we do possess control over the actions it can lead us to.

In essence, love is good, but it is the actions that result from it that are of concern.

As with anything, there is a certain limit and transgressing the limit turns the good into bad. For instance, praying Salah is a good thing. No Muslim disputes this fact. However, if one prays Nafl (non-obligatory) Salah all night and misses Fajr (a Fardh or obligatory Salah) in the morning, then his praying Nafl all night becomes something bad. Likewise, if a man spends all day praying and doesn’t provide ample food, clothing, and shelter for his wife and children, then his praying all day becomes bad.

Similarly, if love for something or someone begins blocking us from the worship of Allah and from following his orders, the love also becomes a bad thing. If a person, for the love of his children, works all day long (so he can feed and clothe them well) and doesn’t pray and remember Allah, then his love for his children has evidently become bad for him. Allah Almighty says:
"O you who believe! Let not your properties or your children divert you from the remembrance of Allâh. And whosoever does that, then they are the losers." (Quran, 63:9)
In the same way, if the love leads us to forbidden acts that displease Allah, then again it becomes something bad.

Many times, the love for our beloved can lead us on to a very treacherous path. It can happen very slowly – so slowly that one often fails to realize what is about to transpire, and “things” just “seem to happen”.

In the Holy Quran, Allah has said:
"And come not near Zina (unlawful intercourse). Verily, it is a Fâhishah [i.e. anything that transgresses its limits (a great sin)], and an evil way (that leads one to Hell unless Allâh forgives him)." (Quran, 17:32)
Note here that Allah has said “and come not near” instead of saying “don’t do”. What does this tell us? The following hadith of the Prophet (SAW) explains the verse:
“The zina of the eyes is the gaze (at that which is unlawful); the zina of the ears is to listen (to talks that excite the carnal desire); the zina of the tongue is to speak (what is evil); the zina of the hand is to touch (the opposite sex which is unlawful to you); the zina of the feet is to walk (towards immorality); the zina of the heart is to desire (what is unlawful), and it is the private parts which either commits or shuns the actual act of fornication.” (Reported by Muslim)
If the love for a person leads us to any of the above, it is obviously crossing the limit. Be it through meeting, talking, or simply chatting, we must be careful that our love for our beloved doesn’t take us overboard. Love is natural, yet what it can lead to is what’s dangerous.

We all fall in love one time or the other. The key is to control the love and put the brakes on any potentially unlawful actions it may lead us to, no matter how minor they may seem.

Verily, short-lived is the love that leads to the displeasure of Allah (SW).

May Allah (SW) protect me and all of us from the love that leads to His displeasure. Ameen.

36 comments - Click link below to add yours:

Anonymous said... 5/7/08 5:53 am  

so simply hugging wouldnt be considerd as a bad thing?

M Yusuf said... 5/7/08 1:45 pm  

Hugging? who hugging brother to brother with love and respect nothing wrong with that! but a man hugging female with no connection Islam does not approve that at all. It in sahih hadith Prophet Muhammed Peace Be Upon Him says when one momeen meets another and great each other with salams and handshake all there sins are forgiven before they leave, in another narration handshake is not mention. Now hugging shows more love and sympathy to handshake this generation so theres nothing wrong with that at all.

M Yusuf said... 5/7/08 1:48 pm  

According to Fiqh U can hug your mehram, those where nikkah has been made forbidden for u.

sadiq mohammad said... 15/5/09 12:24 am  

i'm confused what if a girl said i love you so so person ? is that haram in islam?

bas said... 21/5/09 2:26 pm  

I love you ALLAH(SWT). I love you Muhammad(SAW).I love you the other prophets. I love you all the angels.

Anonymous said... 30/5/09 2:42 pm  

it is true that we have to learn to control our desire when we are in love with another gender so as to say it is much better to hinder ourselves from starting with any type of zina mentioned above..but once you have done any one of the zina, it is difficult to stop it and to tell to the partner about your concern on zina. i believe that when this happen, there should be lesser time spent together (create excuses if you must)and best of all is that you should opt for marriage! -wallahu'alam

Anonymous said... 21/6/09 6:22 pm  

Is it haraam if you truly love some of a different religion. Not like you fancy them, but truly love them.

Anonymous said... 25/8/09 2:34 pm  

What if both girl and boy love each other, and their hearts are clean towards each other, would it still be wrong if both touch each other?

sexcii86 said... 1/9/09 4:46 pm  

i have been in love with this guy for over a year... nd we only hugged nd kissed (once) nd i plan on marrying him..... did i do sumthin wrng. i don think soo cuz i truly love him?

S said... 2/9/09 1:31 pm  

There is a saying of a prophet (saw) which mentions that it is better that a steel rod be plunged into your head than you touch a woman who is not lawful for you.

May Allah protect us , ameen

Anonymous said... 2/9/09 1:32 pm  

lawful = married

Anonymous said... 26/9/09 6:09 pm  

my dear brothrs n sisters,
hugging is not acceptable if u hug a person who u can marry. otherwise it ok . this is y opinion. and secondly if u love someone from the opposite gender then its best that u marry him or her. this helps u keep away from zina. if for some reasons u cant marry the person then keep fast. as fasting helps u keep away from zina and all nonpious deeds.
may ALLAH guide us to the right path.

Anonymous said... 7/10/09 8:59 am  

Ameen.

Thank you for this very useful note.

Inshallah, may Allah guide us through the straight path.

Anonymous said... 31/10/09 10:48 am  

if you love someone in another country...and you only chat to each other over the phone..then is it still wrong?

curiousmuslim said... 11/11/09 5:47 pm  

Assalamualaikum all.question.What if we say "I love you" to the opposite gender.Is that wrong? And both are muslims i might add. But theyre not doing anything close to zina.Its just the three words i mentioned.By saying them.is it haram?

Anonymous said... 3/12/09 10:32 pm  

i love somebody n he loves me too, bt we cnt get married due to family reasons is it stil wrong 4 us to stay intouch?

Anonymous said... 2/1/10 5:28 pm  

i lovw someone and they are abroad i cannot see that person i want to get married to him but i cant can i still have links with him? like talk to him....

Anonymous said... 4/1/10 12:31 am  

i don understand..love is created by ALLAH, so we cn love each other, but when our parents get 2 know we love someone,they act like we comitted a murder or somethin'......if we jus love and love de person, and not think about anything else, is it still bad????

Anonymous said... 3/2/10 7:38 am  

Aslam o Alaikum to all of u. guyz love is created by Allah but we only can love our those relation which r conected by blood. if u love some one who is a stranger to u then u r commiting a really big sin plz think about it.......

Anonymous said... 3/2/10 7:45 am  

among u some one have written that she is in love with some one and she has hugged and kissed him then i would like to tell her that she should not do that b/c ones u r close to some 1 u need to b more close to that person and that closnees some times can riune your life...

Anonymous said... 21/4/10 2:22 am  

is it haram to say to a girl that you love and that also loves you back to say 'I love you' to each other ????

Anonymous said... 13/6/10 5:19 pm  

let me begin with salam to everyone..........
loving has both gud and bad sides....may we always love the gud way and be protected from this crazy world with so many things going on.....amen...

Anonymous said... 21/6/10 11:15 pm  

if a person has hugged, kissed or did anything wrong like this, and after that the person realises that it is wrong. what should one do if one is getting married to another person? should he/she tell his/her spouse about the ex-relation? aur hiding the truth from spouse is ok? if the person says TOBA to ALLAH by heart and not doing any sin again, even then what should that person do? should he/she tell spouse about it or hide?

Anonymous said... 3/8/10 4:46 pm  

those things which they have told about love is correct i agree with all the words thank u

Anonymous said... 20/8/10 10:02 pm  

no one is really answering the question... my quesion is, i love someon, and if i leave my family for him, is tht a sin? and i want a yes or no answer with and good explanation.

nus said... 12/9/10 9:01 pm  

hey i'm in love with a guy... now it is almost 3 years but we haven't seen each other ever. Now we thought of meeting each other soon. So if I meet with him and hang around with him. Will it be haram? I really want him in my life as my husband. I wish Allah will be with me to help me to make things alright with him and connect us forever.

Anonymous said... 8/11/10 11:55 am  

thanks a lot for this important information

Anonymous said... 15/11/10 7:52 pm  

Salaam, I would like to ask, that if someone loves another muslim, with a pure heart and intention, but they are both young, can they get married? and also if a girl likes a muslim boy, can she hint it to him? As prophet Muhammad SAW wife Kadija asked her friend to tell Muhammad SAW about her, and so they were married.

Anonymous said... 17/11/10 6:07 pm  

Is it rng 2 mke nikka whd sum1 4rm anthr relign evn though da bth of u r registrd 2 sum1 else

Anonymous said... 20/5/11 8:18 pm  

after reading several peoples' opionions and facts... only once has "intentions" been mentioned, and that is what everything is about, ur "intentions"... yes, in islam it says dat contact is haraam, but only for the sake of per-maritial sex.... whn two lovers come in contact with another, it leads to bad "intentions", dat is y it is said to be haraam, but what is said is only liable be looked at from different views, the quran states what is states, it is us, no we, muslims to interperet it take the rite path in our owm shoes... i believe that a person can hug another, but only in the rite "intentions", if they feel otherwise then they should stop.... may allah blesss us all<3

Anonymous said... 20/6/11 2:48 am  

wow this was good

Anonymous said... 30/6/11 6:16 am  

is there a prayer which can lead us to a guy or girl we love without Allah's dissapointment
I love this guy but he doesn't know. I want to marry him but all I can do is pray to Allah.

Anonymous said... 15/7/11 8:15 am  

aoa.i want to ask that
i lovw someone and they are abroad i cannot see that person i want to get married to him but i cant can i still have links with him? like talk to him....he also like to talk to me

Anonymous said... 2/8/11 8:58 pm  

I have never been with a man before. Never touched a man. However i have fallen in love with a man and it has been six months. I have not told him how i feel and have nver touched him. Allah comes first. I feel that Allah will punish me for feeling so misrable all the time and feeling so hurt. I dont know what I should do? I feel guilty for loving him.

Anonymous said... 9/8/11 12:21 pm  

I got the beneath info from muftisays.com website, if you feel for someone and want to marry them, do NOT displease ALLAH by committing Zina with them, the sin is massive.. the effects of that sin can fall not on just you, but on family and our loved ones and even the ummah, when allah is displeased, we see natural disasters etc - may Allah protect us from Shaitaan who hates mankind, :(

Anyway, some sister felt for some guy and wanted to marry him, and posed the question as to how to take this further - see below..

Respected Sister,

From what you have mentioned, it is clear that you have intentions of marrying this particular brother. Alhamdulillah, by means of tying the knot, insha Allah you will be saved from the many fitnah and fasaad (trials and corruption) which many youth face nowadays because of their unwillingness to get married.

In Islam, there are certain ways of doing things so then one's actions will always comply to Shari'ah. Similarly with marriage. Unlike the non Muslims who promote relationships prior to marriage, Muslims should not succumb to that level.

We try to the best of our capabilities to avoid any form of contact with na mahram. What this means is that, we express our desire to get married to a particular individual via our mahrams and female relatives only.

In your case, the best would be to convey your desires via people like your father, brother, uncle etc. Tell them about the brother you wish to marry and then get your mahram relatives to do some investigations of the brother (eg. Is he interested? Does he want to get married too? Is he actively seeking for a spouse? etc.).

Later on, if the brother expresses his wish to wed you too, then you together with your family members and his family members should take further actions to proceed with the preparations. Always bear in mind to observe Shari'ah laws and restrictions throughout the procedure.

Finally, it is highly urged to make solaatul istikhaarah to seek guidance from Allah. Act according to the result of the istikhaarah. If it is not in your favour, then you should muster courage to stop everything. Have faith that Allah has better plans for you insha Allah. Otherwise, there is absolutely no harm in carrying on with the marriage.

Also, one should avoid from thinking about any na mahram as to do so will be sinful. Make taubah and ask Allah for sincere forgiveness if at all any thoughts of the brother came to mind. Then, make a firm intention to never again think about the brother or any na mahram for that matter in future.

And Allah knows best.

Wassalam.

iqbal siddiqui said... 11/8/11 2:44 pm  

wow this was good

Post a Comment